Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Storytelling

The staff have finally arrived. Training has started and camp is almost in full swing. This means long days, short nights and lots of tired mornings. My role this summer largely has to do with helping plan out the worship of camp, which we also do during staff training. As I said previously, I really want to impact the campers by helping the counselors to develop their own personal spiritual lives. These worship times this week are designed to impact the counselors personally and help them to see their time here as a time of growth and spiritual development. 
This week, we will spend lots of time getting to know each other and essentially tell our story. This is especially true for myself because I really have never met anyone here before besides my co-intern Hannah. Many of the counselors have been going here their entire lives and have some of their best friends here at camp. They know each others story, but it is also their job to share that story with the people around them in order to bring this staff together as a community.

Sunday night we had our first worship service. We, for the first time came together as a community to point our lives and our minds back towards God. The summer our primary focus is on the campers and camper safety, but what we often forget about is that we are really here because God placed us here for to serve Him. We are not here for ourselves, but for God. To start off the summer we decided to use the worship story to allow God to speak to us. We used no words, no videos, no elaborate sermon, but we just used what God had given to us. We decided to enter into the part of God's story when he first gave us life, when he first gave life to all of creation. 
John, the camp director, had seen a pantomime, similar to what we performed on Sunday night. He offered up this idea and we immediately grabbed on and decided to make it work. I put some pictures below to give you an idea, but basically we were going to visually tell the story of creation. The story where God first created the world and imparted God's likeness on humanity. The story ended with the fall of humanity on day six. Adam could no longer commune with God and it wasn't until God reached back out to Adam and offered up a free gift, the cup of salvation and bread of life, that Adam was able to again touch God. Then "God" and "Adam" (maybe a little theologically unsound) offered up the Eucharist to the rest of the community. It was an amazing presentation and I may be able to post the video at some point once it gets edited. It really allowed the counselors to be reminded that we are all part of God's story. We may not have come here for all the right reasons. Maybe some of the counselors are here to have fun, to meet a girl, to go sailing, or to just have a job for the summer. The truth is though, that God brought all of us here for a reason.. This worship service truly helped remind all of us why we are here. It allowed the staff to begin to see themselves as ministers and part of this larger narrative that God has invited us into.
Another moment in the last few days that I really enjoyed seeing God work was through our Encounters time. Encounters is going to be our experiential bible storytelling time. (Christian education program) It is not supposed to be complicated or hard, but just something that is interactive and fun for the students to learn something about themselves and about God. 
We decided to move forward with this idea with creation and this Encounter will actually be the same one that campers will encounter on their first Monday of camp. This first one has kind of been my thing and I took it on as my own. It was truly amazing to see it all come together and to see how God was truly working through all of it. We invited everyone into the CLC (Christian Life Center aka the hottest place on camp property). We opened with one praise song for the sake of time and then began the activity. We had set up six sheets of butcher paper with paint. Each group had been given 2 banners and would artistically (maybe) depict what they perceived that day of creation would look like. I literally just sat back in amazement in everything working a million times better than I had imagined. It was really cool to see an idea come to life. To see the staff interacting with each other talking about their vision of creation, their interpretation, and what they imagined that it might look like. After they all finished (even though I cut them short) I had them come up to the stage and in order the would stand on the stage, recite their portion of Genesis 1 and then the next would come up. It truly was moving to see how the interacted with God's story and with each other. Ideally there would be a debrief time and discussions within the group, but as usual we were out of time.
I really like this idea of telling God's story through our own eyes and allowing others to speak into that story. We all don't see things the same way, we have different mental images of what things look like and how they all work together. Some people might not think that this kind of activity really counts as "teaching time," but I think it honestly might work even better sometimes. It allows a group to work together, to dialogue with one another in order to play a part in the story. The enter into it themselves and truly become part of God's narrative.















Becoming acquainted and prepared









If it hasn't been apparent from my lack of ability to 
write and update my blog, things have definitely started to pick up. For a few days I definitely felt like I nothing else to add because I was kind of just doing little things here and there trying to just be patient and wait for staff to arrive. The past 2 weeks and have been about preparing myself for a summer full of fun and excitement, but also one of fear, frustration and exhaustion. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am somewhat more reserved than some people, I don't speak up as much in large groups, but really thrive in conversation with those in smaller group settings or even one on one. Last summer I really forced myself and learned how to be, lets say, more extroverted. I have realized that there are times in my life where I simply need to overcome my own personality and throw myself out there. Camp is one of those places or communities where it is essential to build relationships as fast as possible. I will only have 8 weeks to build relationships and minister to these staff members. I know that in general it takes me more time to develop or friendship that is able to go deeper and therefore just have to force myself way out of my comfort zone. I am not allowed to just sit by and wait for people to introduce themselves to me or ask me questions.

So, I have spent these last 2 weeks trying to get to know the sailing staff that are already here and just pray for the strength and energy to develop deeper relationships more quickly than normal.
Another big thing I have been praying about this summer so far is just my need to be open to a different way of doing things. I really feel like God might be calling me towards this sort of camp and retreat ministry. I am still unsure, but camp ministry has had a huge impact on my life and walk of faith. After conversations with my old camp directors and the field ed. office at Duke, I realize how important it would be for me to broaden my perspective on what camp is. Camp at Don Lee is almost in every way, completely opposite from my experience. I know exactly how camp works at Warren W. Willis in Florida, but my experience so far is very narrow. My struggle so far has been in understanding and grasping concepts that I don't necessarily agree with or would do differently. Not that they do things wrong here or theologically unsound, but it is just different than I am used to. Restructuring my way of thinking has been a challenge for me. I want this place to become a place that I can also call "home", just like I do Warren W. Willis.

Camp is really all about the kids. It always will be and that will never change. But, for me, and especially this summer more than any other, I try to focus on the counselors. These are late high school and college students who have come here to have fun, to play with kids, to sail, and to be in a place they love. My goal is to help them see beyond all that to see the opportunity that they themselves have for personal spiritual growth while here. We used to say at WWW that our counselor ministry is the best and most intentional college ministry in the world. I honestly feel like there is no greater opportunity to help develop the spiritual lives of our college students than while they are at camp. It is a time when we can be intentional every single day about our spiritual lives. These counselors are spending 23 hours a day with campers. They are feeding into their lives, mentoring them, being their friend, talking with them, and loving on them. They are the real ministers here at camp. It isn't the directors, the year round staff, but the counselors or the ones interacting with the kids on the ground level. I could never meet every kid, and neither will the directors or other staff. But, if we reach into the lives of our counselors to help them with spiritual development through personal practices or simply being available then we can allow God to speak through us in a new way.

One thing that we as the worship team (mainly Melissa), have done for the staff was to create a space that is theirs. There is a building down by the river that is supposed to be a chapel, but was really nothing more than a glorified meeting space/ storage room. The faded washed out pink walls were horrendous. There were spider webs, dust and just a bunch of random things that didn't seem to have found their proper place. Melissa made it her mission to not only clean it out, but to re-envision what it means to have a place of worship as a staff member. A place of prayer. After some cleaning the decision was made that we desperately needed to paint the chapel. It is amazing how transformative a layer of primer and two layers of paint can be. The room instantly went from being a unbearable sight of washed out pink to a place of serenity and calm. We have now added, rugs, floor pillows and an altar made out of driftwood (made by Will Cooper). There are contemplative prayer sources, bibles, and we hope to have candles and music playing. This will be a place to rest, sleep if needed (it has A/C), and to connect with God.

















Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Where I live



Yep, thats right, this is where I live. If you remember look at pictures from last summer, you will notice the upgrade in accommodations. Thank goodness because I couldn't have done that again. Knotty Pines was a little bit too small. hopefully a little more writing to come tomorrow.

Beginnings of a good summer

I don't have tons of time to write much. Things are going really well. I went to church on Sunday and was introduced to everyone. I have been staying with Melissa and Will Cooper so far. They are great and have been incredibly hospitable. We all watched Lost together Sunday night and if you are a Lost fan and didn't cry then you don't have a heart. I would say more, but I will wait until later in the summer after I re-watch it hopefully with a certain person. All I can say is that I loved it and it satisfied 6 years of commitment.

I am probably staying here on property for the first time tonight in my awesome trailer (pictures will have to come later tonight when I get better internet. I have really enjoyed being here. Right now my main goal is to help plan and write curriculum for our Encounters time. I will also play a large role in just coordinating our theme throughout all aspects of teaching and worship (kind of like what my role at Warren Willis was, but with not having to worry about games. After this stuff gets done I hope to focus more on the spiritual development of the staff and counselors.

It is amazing how much God has been working in my life lately. This is exactly the place that I am supposed to be. I miss Durham a lot and my friends there, but am excited to have this opportunity to sort out my calling. Thanks for the prayers you have all been praying. I really appreciate the support.

I need to get some work done, but just wanted to give a quick update.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Camp Don Lee

Well, its been forever since I have posted, but I figured I might get this going again since I am going to be away all summer. I'm not going back to the canyon, but like my blog title and figured I would just go with the flow.

For those of you who don't know I will be at Camp Don Lee in Arapahoe, NC for the summer. It is a United Methodist camp on the coast of North Carolina. Not quite the outer banks, but almost. I am really excited to be at the beach, but even more importantly I'm excited to be at a camp. It will be an interesting experience being at camp, but I don't think I will be able to call it "camp" because that is this wonderful place in Florida that has been a big part of my life and will always be the only "camp" for me.

This is my first official Field Ed. placement through Duke Divinity School and I will be serving at the camp for 10 weeks. My primary personal goal is to build relationships with the counselors and be a sort of chaplain for them. I want to be a person that they feel comfortable coming to when they need guidance, advice, someone to talk to, or just someone to hang out with. I'm really excited to be working with one of my best friends Hannah Terry and we will be living in back to back RV's. I am going to bring chairs and hopefully create some sort of hang out area by our RV's for people to just come and feel welcome to be themselves and relax.

I really don't know exactly what all I will be doing, but will probably be helping finish up curriculum and help out with programming. I will take part in leading morning devotions, worship at night, and with our Christian ed. time during the day. I am also connected with 2 churches that Hannah will mainly focus on and am currently planning on preaching a week from tomorrow to kind of introduce myself to everyone.

I could not have asked for a better placement this summer and am excited to see how God is going to work through me this summer. I am pretty nervous about starting and having to meet tons of people. I really enjoy camp and getting to know college students, but kind of makes me nervous just to have such an influx of people I don't know. It should be fun though. Please keep me in your prayers for the next few weeks. Camp doesn't start officially for a few more weeks. I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to serve here.

More to come. Hopefully I will do a better job than last summer

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Dark Night of the Soul

Loreena McKennitt - The dark night of the soul

Upon a darkened night
the flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
and by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
while all within lay quiet as the dead

Chorus
Oh night thou was my guide
oh night more loving than the rising sun
Oh night that joined the lover
to the beloved one
transforming each of them into the other

Upon that misty night
in secrecy, beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
than that which burned so deeply in my heart

That fire t'was led me on
and shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where he waited still
it was a place where no one else could come

Chorus

Within my pounding heart
which kept itself entirely for him
He fell into his sleep
beneath the cedars all my love I gave
And by the fortress walls
the wind would brush his hair against his brow
And with its smoothest hand
caressed my every sense it would allow

Chorus

I lost myself to him
and laid my face upon my lovers breast
And care and grief grew dim
as in the mornings mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair


Loreena writes in the CD booklet about this song:

May, 1993 - Stratford ... have been reading through the poetry of 15th century Spain, and I find myself drawn to one by the mystic writer and visionary St. John of the Cross; the untitled work is an exquisite, richly metaphoric love poem between himself and his god. It could pass as a love poem between any two at any time ... His approach seems more akin to early Islamic or Judaic works in its more direct route to communication to his god ... I have gone over three different translations of the poem, and am struck by how much a translation can alter our interpretation. Am reminded that most holy scriptures come to us in translation, resulting in a diversity of views.

Music by Loreena McKennitt
Lyrics by St. John of the Cross (San Juan de la Cruz), arr. and adapted by Loreena McKennitt
From:
The mask and mirror (1994).


I used this song this morning in my spiritual formation group. I was supposed to present the spiritual discipline of solitude.

This song speaks to me especially because I feel like the last 1.5 years have been the darkest years of my life. I have worked a normal full time job. I moved to a new place. I was forced to make new friends. I found a new church. I quit my job. I decided to go out west. I went back to school. I made new friends again. I started a new life.

I find myself constantly bogged down amidst the business of life. My mom says that I am just like her. "I never have enough to do and am constantly adding things on." I have more reading and writing that I will ever be able to do. My problem is that I am also fairly involved in my church. I get to church early to help set up a couple times a month. I stay late after church to eat dinner with my friends. I am very unwilling to turn down "being in community" to study, read, or write. I am not a good student. I could be, but recently I just haven't had the drive. I'm not sure what has changed. I just feel extremely worn down.

This morning refreshed my mind and my spirit. Listening to that song reminded me that in the darkness of night, God can heal.

I feel like I am such on edge right now. Last night I had a confrontation that really set me off and pushed me over the edge. It shouldn't have bothered me, but I ended up snapping at two of my friends rather harshly and got really frustrated. I had to just walk away. I took a shower and went straight to bed. I tried to read, but realized that I just need to let God envelop me for a moment.

The last verse:

I lost myself to him
and laid my face upon my lovers breast
And care and grief grew dim
as in the mornings mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair

Losing myself to God. What does that look like? What does it mean? Last night it meant laying in my bed and crying out to him for help. How often do I cry out to God? Last night I was angry, I was desperate, I needed my savior. I always need my savior and it is one thing that I too often overlook. I know that this post seems dim and depressing, but its not. It is in God that I find a glimmer of hope. I don't know who reads this, but I am writing this today for me and all of the other people who are amidst the "Dark Night of the Soul."

Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline challenges us to live into the silence, and live into the moments.

He writes "The dark night is one of the ways God brings us into a hush, a stillness so that he may work an inner transformation upon the soul."



Monday, March 1, 2010

Missing the Canyon

I have been away from Bryce Canyon for about 6 1/2 months. I began looking at some pictures last night of my adventures and realized how extremely lucky and blessed that I was to have experienced Bryce Canyon.

Things I miss the most:
Hoodoos
The General Store
Ruby's
Ruby's Campground Hot Tub
Off-roading
The Pizza Place
My Bryce Canyon Family
Sheeeeweeeeeee
Checking for stupid ID's in the gen. store
Hiking
Preaching
Meeting tons of random people every day
Getting a threat written on my door
Watching the Office
Playing spades
Talking on the phone all the time
The Silence
The Solitude

I know that I wrote about Solitude before, but I think that it is the thing that I have truly missed the most about Bryce. In the past few weeks I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed by the exhaustion and messiness of school. Sometimes I wish I just would have stayed out West. Life seemed so much simpler this summer. Utah is the most beautiful place I have ever been with some of the most interesting people. I spend all my time inside, reading, watching tv, trying to sleep. I honestly just want to hike. Not even that I want to hike because I could do that here, but I simply desire to be in the canyon. The red rock, the tall pines, the blistering sun, the hail storms, the sandy dried up river beds. That is where I desire to be. Working 8 hours a day and forgetting about it.

Looking back, I feel like I wished away my summer. I longed to come home to Durham. I longed to see a girl. I longed to be in the real world. Looking back, I wish I would have gone up to the rim of the canyon just one more time. I wish I would have gone on one more hike through the towering pillars of red rock and sandstone. I miss the stars. Millions, billions, or stars. Here I never even look up because there is nothing to see. This summer, every night I would drive back to my dorm I would get out of my truck and be astounded by the beauty in the sky. I was amazed every single time. I miss being able to just be alone. Not that I can't do that here, but its just not the same.

I long for the sense of self that I gained this summer. I was finally able to exceed my own expectations, I was able to in a sense recreate myself. I was finally able to be the person I desire to be and the person God desires me to be. I really miss being in a place where no one has preconceived notions of who you are or what to expect from you.

Last summer, was the best summer of my life. I gained of sense of who I am, who God wants me to be and was able to truly experience solitude in a way that allowed me to truly be in communion with God.